


Seaside

by LetMeEntertainYou



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M, Tourettes Syndrome, tourettes, tourettes!john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 20:10:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19069795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetMeEntertainYou/pseuds/LetMeEntertainYou
Summary: A few tears escaped John’s eyes as he plead again, “Please, can we leave?” His fist smashed against the table, a tic rather than an expression of anger. Everyone in the room jumped. “Please,”





	Seaside

**Author's Note:**

> My blog is Disabled-Queen-HC on tumblr.  
> Anon asked: uwu John with Tourette’s was the actual cutest, could you do some Joger with Tourette’s!John and Roger comforting him when people make fun of John/look at him strangely?

“This isn’t a  **fucking** museum. Stop staring, wanker,” Roger hissed at the man who couldn’t keep his eyes off John. The man paled, immediately looking down at the menu in his hands, his gaze never venturing back up the rest of his time there.

Roger spun back in his seat to face John, his hands going over to grab the other’s. “He’s all taken care of,” he said, a little smile on his lips. 

John pulled his hands away, his eyes the tiniest bit wet, a lump starting to swell in this throat. He shook his head, looking out the window of the restaurant. “It’s not just him,” he whispered, voice shaking slightly. He coughed.

Roger’s eyebrows furrowed, looking around the room to see who else lacked manners or decency. John all the while kept stomping his feet. “Who else is bothering you, love?” he asked, absolutely ready to cause a scene if he had to. 

“They all are. I’m extra tic-y today. It’s like I’m a fucking freak show. Can we leave? Please?” John said, finding it harder and harder to control the urge to cry. 

It was supposed to be a romantic date. Dinner at a fancy restaurant with foods you couldn’t pronounce and then a movie where they’d be more interested in necking than watching what was on the screen. But they’ve barely just arrived and John had already caused everyone to notice him. He wasn’t nervous or upset at all today. He was just having a tic heavy day. And mewing like a cat at a 5 star restaurant seemed to give the people around them a bad impression. 

It was something about being around rich, haughty, snooty people that made him want to die. Their judgment was always the most obvious, the sharpest. John could just feel them wondering why an idiot dared enter the premises of this fine establishment. 

And Roger, being Roger, defending him whenever possible, shooting glares at the waiter or calling somebody a wanker, made it worse. He wanted to disappear. Vanish in a puff of smoke. 

A few tears escaped John’s eyes as he plead again, “Please, can we leave?” His fist smashed against the table, a tic rather than an expression of anger. Everyone in the room jumped. “ _Please_ ,”

Roger was beyond vexed at how their date was turning out. If people could just realize that some people are different but it’s okay, John’s life would be so much more easier. But it wasn’t time to talk about injustices and prejudices. He nodded, getting up, taking John’s hand and walking them out of the restaurant. He looked only at his boyfriend, ignoring the stares burning into the two of them.

Once in the car, John broke down. In between barks and palms slapping into his thighs, he sobbed, so thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed of himself. He hated that he couldn’t control himself. He loathed that the only quality time him and Roger could have were in loud places where he’d be drowned out. Who wanted to have a fucking anniversary at a soccer match? He hated that he ruined everything. He hated his Tourette’s.

Roger pulled John over to him, letting the younger cry into his chest, rubbing his back and whispering kind things to him.

“You know you could never embarrass me, Deacy. We could’ve stayed there. I wouldn’t have cared,” he said, nose burying into John’s fluffy hair.

“Well,  _ **I**_  embarrass me. I’m so done. So tired. I wanna go home,” John said, sniffling, eyes pressed closed. He wondered if he willed it strong enough, he could just cease to exist. 

Roger kissed the top of John’s head before starting the car. “I’ll take you home, baby,” he mumbled, at a loss for what else to do. 

John didn’t talk the whole ride. And he didn’t talk once they got home either. He wasn’t mad at Roger. He was simply done with that day. And maybe the next too. 

He ate a bowl of cereal, drudged himself up stairs, took a shower and went to bed, ticking loudly all the while. A constant reminder of why he was in this position. 

Roger didn’t interrupt or try to comfort. He understood how annoying it could be to be feeling so shitty and have someone on the sidelines try to cheer you up. He left John alone to process his emotions while he sat and thought about his own. 

He’d leave John alone for tonight, but he couldn’t do that forever. He had to find a way to remind John he was worthy of experiences just like everyone else. That he wasn’t a nuisance. And that he shouldn’t be one to himself.

It took him hours to come up with a plan. He crawled into bed that night with a smile, holding a sleeping John close to him.

♚

“You brought me to a…cliff? That’s pretty morbid,” John said as he readjusted his scarf, a bitter wind brought on by the crashing waves below.

Roger snorted, shaking his head. “Goodness, John! I didn’t bring you here to jump! I brought you here to well…look around you. See anyone?” Roger shivered as he spoke. The coasts were always so freezing. He had a feeling though in some time, they’d both be peeling off their layers. (Not naughtily!)

John looked around the barren cliffside, seeing nothing but tufts of grass, rocks and the ocean before them. “There’s nobody here,” he said, a tic making him kick at the air.

“Exactly. Not a single soul. I was thinking last night…I notice ‘round the house, you try to suppress your tics when it’s just me around…” Roger was toeing around a rock with his shoe. “You must think subconsiously or not I don’t fancy them. Find them annoying or whatever. Which I don’t. But I think that means..well..uh,” Roger was usually good with his words. Not so much right now. 

He walked up to a confused John, his gloved hands holding onto either shoulder. “I think confidence comes from within. If you can’t accept yourself, you’ll never be able to brush off all those stares. A good place to start is by letting yourself openly tic as loudly, as much,and as long as you want,” Roger said, his baby blues staring into John’s wide gray eyes. He hoped his plan wasn’t stupid. It made sense yesterday.

John stood quiet for a moment, his face shifting ever so slightly. “You drove me 2 hours to the seaside to tic?” he asked, wondering if this was real. Roger nodded seriously.

John’s lips pressed into a line, hmming as he thought through Roger’s..plan.

He shimmied out of Roger’s hold and walked close to the edge. John let out a yell he’d been painfully holding in this whole time, his body feeling that sweet release once he let it go. The scream echoed some before being swallowed by the roar of the waves below.

It felt nice. Real nice. So he did it again. And then again. And then he did it with a bark. And then he started stomping his feet. Punching the air. Meowing. Jumping. Twitching. Cursing. Every tiny whim his body had, John did it. He did it without stopping, until he couldn’t anymore. He’d already taken off his jacket and gloves, wiping the sweat off his forehead before he turned to look back at Roger with a smile. Roger grinned, walking up to join him. 

When John screeched, Roger did. When John wriggled, Roger wriggled too. The two wasted every last bit of their energy ticing it out, panting as they trudged back to the car.

John reclined back in the passenger seat, letting the salty winter air cool him down.

“That was superb. Really. I didn’t even realize how tense I was,” John said as Roger buckled up. Most people didn’t know tics physically hurt to hold back. The more you held back, the more tension your body had. Right now, John was as limp as a dead man. Years worth of wound up energy were let go in an hour long burst. He felt so free. Brand new. 

“That was the plan,” Roger said with a chuckle, turning the car on. 

John’s hand fell onto Roger’s knee giving it a squeeze. “Thank you,” he whispered, his eye crinkles coming out. 

Just like with anything else, confidence takes time. John wasn’t ready for a fancy restaurant until months later. But in that moment, he felt absolutely ready to take on the world. To believe in himself and his value. To not give a single damn about gawks and hushed whispers. He was allowed to exist in public like everyone else. 

But…for dinner tonight, the McDonalds drive through would suffice. Just for today. Tomorrow would be better. And so would the next day. 


End file.
